an_jelly

Teenagers are physiologically designed to be idiots. And that time of your life spent being a teenager/idiot is purposefully planned for you to be able to look back and shake your head in amusement and slight disgust over the things that you said or did or didn’t. Like needing everyone to like you or having to be cool or obsessing about having the most friends or ever owning a pair of high-heeled Sketchers and sunflower appliqués on hats.

Yet teenagers are also programmed to be naïve and unaffected. And for the rest of your life, you reminisce (with a little humor) such a time when…

Falling in love (the first few times) always meant forever. Plans of kids and weddings spewed about throughout fourth period gym class amidst sweaty t-shirts stuffed in muddy JanSports.

Every fight with a friend or every confrontation meant tragedy with great possibility for large tears and very public pronouncements of “friendship over’s”.

All you had was your allowance and strangely enough you managed to fit lunch, a movie, fares and popcorn in one hundred pesos –on a date for two.

College was a vague, faraway reality that held the promise of cool, almost-grown-up things you (also) vaguely imagined being able to do.

Graduating college was a vaguer, even-farther-away reality that held the promise of super cool, totally-grown-up things you imagined being able to do.

Everything you wanted to do was still before you. And you had the advantage of innocence –you had no idea what could be done; no idea what couldn’t.

 No idea what couldn’t. None.

 For the rest of your life you spend waddling in self-doubt and second guessing, you find yourself wishing you could just be that idiot again, minus the high-heeled Sketchers.